Monday, January 11, 2010

New motivation

And so, we meet again... this time I mean it, I really really mean it... I am going to do this even if it kills me... so help me... oh enough with the threats... of course getting healthy will not kill me, it will do exaclty the opposite, sheesh

It has been a little less than a year since my last post. Wow I am a loser... wait no I am not otherwise I wouldn't here, in this place I have often called blobby!! So, that is exactly what I WANT to be, a loser!! I want to lose the blob.

I swear I live in opposite world. I started the biggest loser challenge here at school and wouldn't you know, I am freakin' gaining weight!!! UGH! I got my butt off my chair today and went for a walk on my lunch. So, take that you jiggle you!

Here is my motivation for the moment. Thong underwear. Yeah, you read that right, I want to wear thong underwear. A little known fact about me, that is all I used to ever where... pre-GK. I remember vividly having to go shopping for something a little more fitting and it was mortifying!! And now what is mortifying is looking in the mirror and the thought of putting myself into teeny undies. A co-worker, who is one of the skinny ones (and works her ass of to be what she is) was talking about thongs and recently, the last of my collection that I was holding on to in the hopes that some day... well, the last of the collection was evicted. :( So, I am motivated, again. I hope to stay away from pesimistic attitude. Like right now, I am thinking, So, I am motivated, but for how long? As long as it takes and we'll just leave it at that!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Feeling blobby

Grrr... yep i am offically back at square one. This sucks... yes I am going to have a little pitty party here for myself before i get back on the wagon. I had 2 weeks of blah. One week due to crazy hectic schedules, I didn't get into the gym but once, the next week I had some fun and BAM back to fat ass square one. My pants feel extra tight today and my belly feels extra squishy, in spite of the the new ab workout I start two days ago. I totally feel blobby today.

SERIOUSLY... is this it? Is this what I have to do for the rest of my freakin' life? Work out every day, drink only water, eat only crumbs? That is what I did the week I dropped 3 lbs... I guess I have to either accept being fat or accept the challenges of working out. Don't get me wrong... I like to work out, I really do (most days)... it is just such a pain to work around WD schedule and the kids and GRRRRR.

More ranting... my skinny friend here at work was admiring my lunch yesterday. It was tasty leftovers from a quicky meal I had cooked the night before. It is not a terrible meal when eaten in portion. It has chicken and pasta and it is a Macaroni Grill dish that they put in a box and you put together at home. Clever! I love these. Anyway, she says mmm that looks tasty, and I said yeah I cooked it last night it is one of the macaroni grill numbers, they are so good. And she says, yeah I know I cooked one last night but we didn't have any leftovers. She has a family of 4 so this makes sense and she says... I ate the whole thing myself, it was soo good I couldn't stop. WHAT?????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? First if i ate the whole thing I would probably pop, but second there are 5 servings in that box. and around 350 cal. per serving, let's do the math!! THIS IS SO SO SO WRONG!!

I digress... it is now Tuesday and after re-reading what I wrote up there, I almost deleted it but then that would take away from the "being honest" part of this journey. So, I was over reacting a bit. I am not at square one as it turns out. I did gain a pound but really, after all the fun I had, I can handle a pound. It was so worth it!!

Today I had taco bell for lunch (¡Gracias WD!) and a donut and numerous hershey's kisses. Disaster day... long walk this evening. :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

picking up the pieces...

My journey has hit a few bumps. First, the 3lbs I lost I am certain are back. I am honestly afraid to step on the scale. I am afraid I am back to square one.

I had a fun weekend with girls. Gambled a little, drank a little, ate a lot. It was so fun and I am so so grateful for my girlfriends. They keep me grounded yet always remind me of who I am and where I come from. So, how does this relate to my weight loss? Well, dammit, why is it that one fun weekend has me feeling like I am right back at square one?? It is just not fair.

I will pick up the pieces and carry on. Off to the gym today, and hooray for my encouragement buddy who has met her first 10lb goal! I am so thrilled for her and inspired. Success will come, it just might be slower than I had originally thought.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

More triumph

Well, last week I lost THREE pounds! It is just crazy! Not easy by any stretch and I do not expect to have a week like that this week. I am down 7 altogether and it is starting to sink in that I CAN DO THIS!!

Over the weekend I was at my parents and my mother is the biggest food pusher on the planet! She is trying to lose but you would never know it when you visit. She had a tub of cookies ready to go (for the kids she says) who ends up eating them??? Then before bed there was the run for ice cream. I declined my own bowl, another triumph. I knew GK would never eat all that she was given and I would end up finishing hers. I only had a few bites.

My clothes are feeling loose and I feel good. Maybe in a few weeks I will be able to go get some new pants!!

OH and my original goal was to lose 10lbs by my birthday (I thought I would start small so I wouldn't fail). Well, it is looking good, only 3 more to go for that. Maybe I will up it by a few more pounds once the first 10 come off. We'll see!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

ba-bye venti mocha, you will be missed!

This is me, sobbing like a baby... whaaa, whaa whaaaaaaaaaa.... I love #8 and stupid me, I have one every now and then and don't bother to look up the dang calories!!! OR FAT for that matter! YEOWSERS!! No wonder I can't lose weight! Here I was thinking it couldn't be that bad... oh no, I may as well give up those babies and go back to coke.

Nah, I just have a small one every now and then and make it skim. I'll still keep coke at bay!

PS on the bright side, despite all the girls scout cookies and other crap this week, i didn't gain! I didn't lose either but hey, take what I can get, right??

AND I have started a running program and hope to be an inspiration to my husband who has to run for his job. So far I have ran a mile twice and I SURVIVED!! (and I even liked it a little!) WOO HOO!!

Top ten worst foods of 2009

by FatFighterTV, on Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:20pm PST
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From an astonishing amount of calories to several days' worth of fat in one meal to over the top levels of sodium, this is one place you don’t want to see any of your favorite foods. Every year, the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) comes up with its list of the Top Ten Worst Foods and I always look forward to it. Once in awhile I find out I’ve enjoyed one of the “worsts” (and stop immediately!). But this year, I’m happy to report I have not indulged in anything on CSPI’s list for 2009.
1. Pepperidge Farm Roasted White Meat Chicken Premium Pot Pie - There are 510 calories and 9 grams of saturated fat in this baby. Oh wait - that’s just for half a pie. The whole thing has 1020 calories and 18 grams of saturated fat.
2. Romano’s Macaroni Grill Spaghetti and Meatballs with Meat Sauce - This dish will set you back a staggering 2,430 calories and nearly three days’ worth of saturated fat (57 grams) plus 5,290 milligrams of sodium - more calories and saturated fat than two Macaroni Grill Tuscan Rib-Eye steak dinners.
3. Progresso Traditional, Vegetable Classics, and Rich & Hearty soups - Half a can averages more than half of a person’s daily quota of salt. Instead, CSPI says try Progresso’s Health Favorites reduced-sodium soups with up to 50 percent less salt. Also, see: Hidden sodium in foods you wouldn't think to check.
4. Dove Ice Cream - A half cup has about 300 calories and an average of 11 grams of saturated fat - that’s half-a-day’s worth of the bad stuff. You may be better off with these 5 frozen treats under 100 calories.
5. The Cheesecake Factory Chris’ Outrageous Chocolate Cake - It’s layers of chocolate cake, brownie, toasted coconut pecan filling, and chocolate chip coconut cheesecake. CSPI found each five-inch-high slice weighs three-fourths of a pound and has 1,380 calories, 32 teaspoons of sugar, 33 grams of saturated fat and 5 grams of trans fat. Yikes!
6. Smoothie King’s Grape Expectations II - It’s one of Smoothie King’s “Snack Rights” with 550 calories in the 20-ounce size and 1,100 calories in the 40-ouncer. Proof that not all smoothies are good for you (but these are).
7. Pop Secret Movie Theater Butter Popcorn Snack Size Bags - Just one snack-size bag has 11 grams of bad fat, 7 of which are trans fats. Instead, CSPI says choose Orville Redenbacher’s Smart Pop or Smart Balance Smart ’N Healthy - both are made with no partially hydrogenated oils. Also, see this review of microwave popcorns from Consumer Reports.
8. The Starbucks Venti (20 oz.) Caffè Mocha with whole milk and whipped cream has 450 calories and 13 grams of bad fat - more like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in a cup. But you can lose all the bad fat and all but 170 calories if you order a tall (12 oz.) with nonfat milk and no whipped cream.
9. Chipotle Chicken Burrito - With rice, pinto beans, cheese, chicken, sour cream, and salsa, you get 1,040 calories and 16-1/2 grams of saturated fat - the same as three Subway Steak and Cheese 6-inch Subs. Plus the burrito comes with 2,500 milligrams of sodium! Ordering it without cheese or sour cream cuts the saturated fat to 3-1/2 grams, but you still end up with 810 calories and 2,300 milligrams of sodium. Ay Caramba! Here's another burrito that will shock you.
10. Cold Stone Creamery’s Gotta Have It Founder’s Favorite - 12-ounces of ice cream, pecans, brownie pieces, fudge, and caramel adds up to a whopping 1,600 calories and 42 grams of saturated fat. That’s about the same as five single-scoop ice cream cones. And watch out before you have this frozen concoction.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Fat girls unite!

Ah, Friday... I love Fridays! This was a particularly (sp??) long week, between girl scout cookies and the food projects going on in the department, well, let's just say the scale is not going to be kind this week, i am sure. On a bright note though, I have tried to work out more to compensate. I hope to be surprised but yet I am going to be realistic!

Off that topic, I feel like making a banner that says "FAT GIRLS UNITE!". Nothing against you skinny people, I am truly happy that there are people in the world who don't have to worry too much about weight but there are some of us who are just consumed by it. Every bite that goes in our mouth becomes and obsession whether it is while we are shoving it in or after the fact. Even right now, the sucker in mouth is a thought! It is preventing me from running down and grabbing a candy bar!!

I had a long talk this week with a friend of a friend at a gathering and just for the record, i think she is so cute! I love her style and she is so fun to talk to! Anyway, who knows how it got brought up but she seems to be in the same boat as I am. I bet there are tons of girls out there just like me and her. I think we need to unite and help each other out! Not in a setting like weight watchers or some crazy slim fast support group, but some place where we can be real and just let it out. Therapy!! And if we get skinny, we'll still be in the group, not to flaunt but to celebrate! Hmmmm...

(PS who created the stupid name Slim Fast??? Anyone in their right mind should know that the words slim and fast are oxymorons!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How 'bout a little Self-talk?

I am so glad this is not a requirement... I suck at it! Oh well, a little effort is better than none, right? These last few days have been really rough as far as food is concerned. There have been food projects in classes and all the leftovers end up in the office and therefore part of my ass. It is also girl scout cookie time. WD bought 2 boxes, they lasted less than a day. My dear friend had her daughter call me and ask if i would buy from her. SNEAKY!!! Sure, I'll take two. How can I say no to her!?? Just for future reference, I will not answer her calls this time of year next year. Those are gone now. So, I am sure the scale will not be kind this week. I did make it to the gym yesterday and i am going this evening. I will just work extra hard and maybe the scale will at least stay the same.

I do need to get back on the self-talk wagon.
I hate cookies!
I hate coke! (As i sit here sipping!)
(Seriously, can I just get a caffine injection or how about a sucker?)
I hate icecream,
I hate chocolate,